PERSPECTIVE : BODY AS TEMPLE, HONORING OUR EMOTIONAL BODY, HOW TO GIVE SUPPORT FROM A RESOURCED PLACE, TRUST IN COMMUNITY. MOOD : EXPANSIVE, MAGNETIC, WELCOMING, INSPIRING, CATHARTIC. TEXTURE : SLICK, SOFT, SMOOTH. SOUND : AUSPICIOUS. SCENT : HONEY, LILAC, CINNAMON, GINGER.
Opening my arms to you, I've been really sitting with all that I intend to share this month. Truly soaking into the sweet and tender moments. The integration of all that broke down last year is rebuilding, reweaving, and blooming from such a deeply nourished place within my body. I'll be sharing some perspectives on more ways to view your body and how to feel safe relating to our emotions and others. I'd love to show you some photos taken by Alyssa Keys from the Water Priestess Immersion. Led by Baelyn Elspeth and Jaguar Woman, at the Bonny Doon Forest Temple. I was able to attend this immersion and offer body work - some of the first body work I've given since the beginning of the pandemic! This immersion was also the first one I have attended in over a year, it was so profound to hear the resonance within each person who sat in circle. The shared space, story, tears, held a truly physical experience that brought us all back to our senses. We bathed, steamed, sang, danced, showed our scars, drank tea, and witnessed each other express ourselves wholly. As I vulnerably spoke of my personal process within community, I was reminded of the collective energy I felt this last year. Sitting in circle brought a memorable sensation from such a disorienting year into the physical form. My body felt reset by how affirming and important it is to be in circle, to share story, and witness the interconnectedness of us all.
We are never truly alone, sometimes we just loose touch with the power of connection and trust. Connection and trust are sensations that begin with the relationship we have with our emotional body. If we do not trust living in the sacred temple our heart beats in, how can we feel safe in the temple of another? The ripples are still layering out, as we all navigate our personal transitions amidst global change. I want to affirm that no matter how far away we may seem, how alone change can feel, we are in community always. If you need support, guidance, a referral - call to your community.
No one can feel where we are at emotionally, if we do not allow them to see.
I feel you on such a deep level and I hope that what I share as you read on inspires hope, connection, resilience, trust, and compassion.
I am moving to Maui in just 3 weeks now. There is a lot of momentum building.
As I feel into my body's response to transition, I light up with so much excitement. Constantly finding myself getting inspired with how I want to fill my new space, balancing the urge to let go of all I am in physical relationship with, and feeling so much of my energy circulating around that resilient island in the middle of the pacific. When I notice my mind speed up, this is my cue to to slow down and come back to my body. As exciting and electrifying it is to prepare for a big move, I've noticed that it also can bring me out of the moment of where I currently am. A lot of the people I have been able to catch up with during these last few months in Santa Cruz, I won't be in physical space with for an unknown amount of time. This knowing expands out to my most recent community that I've made in Portland. Combining the stretching of community within those two cities + the collective stretching from the pandemic, it can feel like a lot sometimes. I find myself choosing to be alone while I simultaneously have craved connection. When our energy is coming more from our thoughts, and not from our body, it can be easy to loose touch unintentionally from the ones we love dearly. For us to be as present as we can, we need to be able to notice when we are detaching, and do what we need to come back to being in relationship with our emotional body. Doing so supports every layer of our being to feel so clear on our energetic capacity, so that we can externally interact from a deeply resourced place within us. Conversations become so nourishing, we can feel so connected with who we share our energy with, eye contact feels like a new level of physical embrace, AND we are still deeply in touch with our energy while all of this external stimulation is happening. Collectively we are still feeling the many walls of what were taught to be 'structure' within our capitalistic systems fall away. We are seeing them crumble, and witnessing how many of us are willingly pushing them over. I'm noticing as well a lot of us redefining what it means to be supported, and how to sustainably be of service to our health as well as: our neighbor, our friend, our partner, our family - all that is of com·mu·ni·ty. We are rebuilding, we are evolving. For me personally, it was inspiring to see what connections came forward through these major changes collectively. The 'pod' I was with this last year set a whole new tone with how I view support and what I consider community. Only 1 person from my 'pod' I have known for years, and we are closer now than we have ever been. The new connections I've made have taught me so much about emotional presence, boundaries, celebration, and commitment. Even some friends / family that had been in different states felt like they were just next door with how consistent we all were amidst being separated. There were also some connections that faded, disagreements, and new opportunities to express needs / boundaries around connection. Practicing having what could seem like an uncomfortable conversation, while still holding compassion through potential disagreements, helps us strengthen our discernment and sovereignty.
I have been holding a really strong intention to experience life intimately. I feel that I've given a lot of hints that deep diving is a love language of mine. Whether we are working together, in conversation, have known each other for years, dream weaving, meeting for the first time - I do not ride surface level. I happily identify with being an intensely emotional being. I love to feel into shadows, curves, textures, the senses, and edges; to continually nurture a deeper connection to self, others, and all that is in relationship to the earth. Embodying emotional depth and sensuality invites others to do the same, and can lovingly open up conversations to express if any emotional / energetic blocks are present. Being in touch with our emotional body also invites us to be in a relationship with our boundaries. I know how amazing it feels to align with people that you feel you can explore so much depth with. No matter how often we confide with the one's closest to us, we must practice checking-in before unintentionally pouring our process to their feet if they don't have the capacity to hold it. May we also take this moment to reflect on how often we may be the one 'catching' or 'holding' before we've taken time to check-in with ourselves to feel if in that moment we are capable. Some visceral imagery to support more clarity around this... When viewing the Body As Temple, lets imagine that all that exists within the temple walls are all that we have space for on the inner ring of our boundaries. We have the key to our temple gates, we can choose when we feel available to have someone enter. By honoring our emotional process, we recognize the emotional process in another. We prioritize checking-in with ourselves daily to really feel what we have the capacity for, and what we can give. We cannot be a temple for all to run to. We cannot house the emotional well being of another for all of eternity, that isn't sustainable. What we can do is know when we have the capacity and when we don't, and practice communicating these fluctuations as much as we need to. There is no shame in locking your temple gates, you have the key to open them again when you feel that you're authentically ready to. Being in touch with our boundaries, temple gates, supports us in not being a 'swinging door' of support. Having boundaries reflects an intimate connection with our body, we honor our inner guidance, and can express ourself from an empowered, resourced, and authentic place.
When I feel emotion come forward within my body, I make space for it. Space for emotion can look like sometimes up to 4 hours laying in bed. Space for emotion could be self pleasure, shaking, moaning, dancing, yelling at the top of my lungs at the ocean's edge, a long phone call with a friend that has space to hold, a session with my somatic counselor, turning my phone off for a day; whatever the emotion present is needing I allow it to move within my body. Embodying emotion as a priority. "All visibly vulnerable, meaning brave." - Alexis Pauline Gumbs, Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons From Marine Animals
The teachings our body holds for us has the ability to be weightless. We can choose to carry our deepest teachings and have it feel like a sack of stones. We can also choose to view our body like a sacred temple, with winding staircases, leading us to dark rooms where we can only find our way by candle light. We find ourselves in a distant corner where scrolls wrapped in golden thread hold our wisest teachings without any weight to impair us. We unroll the script finding symbols, stories, poems, and musings that inspire us to remember. Weightlessness comes after reclamation. A scroll is written once all that has been endured, has been integrated. We have to feel the weight of our trauma, challenge, loss, and pain to be able to reference what weightlessness will feel like once the gravity of our stories has released. We can feel the weight of it all and simultaneously feel like we can fly again. This letter is here at this moment to affirm that there is space for your edges. There is space for your mistakes, pain, trauma, and challenge to be honored and not to be shamed. What we endure is sacred. What has been the most derailing during our experience in this lifetime, is what calls our pen to carve paper. Our most difficult moments are just another pin pierced into the map of our internal landscape. A pin with a crimson colored radiance to reference from in moments where we've lost touch with how far we've come.
May we set an intention to view the BODY AS TEMPLE. What does this intention feel like within your body? Do you see the tall golden gates in front of you and look down to notice you have the key in the palm of your hand? Are you inside, enamored by the arches of the hallways inviting you to explore? Perhaps you can feel the warmth beneath your feet, as you stand to meet the sun pouring in through the window. What does all that your imagination show you represent? Potential symbols to play with... Golden Gates = boundaries, safety, protection. The Key = sovereignty, openness to receive, discernment. Guiding Hallway Arches = self exploration, depth. Warm Floor Beneath Feet = resilience, hope, trust. There are many moments during our life where we feel all of our internal walls crumble. We can feel like we have everything figured out and then all of sudden all that felt like structure is dust. We drop our knees to the earth, we break down, we break open. Then there is an internal voice we hear inviting us to look up again. We dust off our knees, rub our eyes, and rise. We see how much space is surrounding us, we can feel vulnerable, afraid, doubtful, alone - just to name a few. No matter what thoughts may be circulating, our body initiates us to root down into our integrity, and continue on. We stand. Another scroll is written. All because our body woke us up, affirmed to us, "No more." We found our edge, we were met with the sensation in the body inviting us to do something different. We were met with a familiar line drawn before us that had kept us living in a dried out environment resisting growth for too long. We are the only ones that can awaken ourselves to take the next step. Our body will signal to us when it is time, we will feel our awareness shift when we begin to notice a fear based thought from an intuitive knowing. Shifts in our life that support the change we seek, take action first on a visceral level. Long before before our mind has time to rationalize what is happening. Once we commit to our body, we step with resilience as we journey forward, we align with our community and environments that reflect the radiance of how far we've come - how far WE ALL have come. The body knows on a primal level when it is time to evolve. Can you feel it?
I tie a loose knot of golden thread around this letter to you. A thread you can slowly pull whenever you need to read these reflections again. I support and honor your process, whether you are crumbling, rebuilding, or moving freely within your temple doors. Every stage in your process is sacred, and I hope you remember that you truly are in alignment with all that honors your growth. Your body will find it's way, trust it.